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About Deviant Member natalie24/Female/United States Recent Activity
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anti-natmister
natalie
United States
I LIKE GORE, BETTIE PAGE, ZOMBIES & OCTOPUS. PERHAPS EVEN TOGETHER.

Current Residence: SIERRA VISTA, AZ
Favourite genre of music: DEPENDS
Favourite style of art: GORE & NUDITY
Operating System: WORKING ONE
MP3 player of choice: PHONE
Skin of choice: PALE & COLD KIND
Favourite cartoon character: HELLO KITTY
Personal Quote: AAAAAND ITS GONE.
Interests
CRAWLING THROUGH MY MIND IS LIKE TRYING TO FIND YOUR WAY THROUGH A MAZE WITH NO EYES. THE DARKNESS AND FEAR. THE SCREAMING QUIET OF IT ALL, YET THE DEAFENING NOISE OF KNOWLEDGE AND AGE GAINED ONLY BY NEGATIVITY ENVELOPES YOU. I AM NOT NECESSARILY SAD, NOT EVEN DISTRAUGHT. I AM JUST DRIFTING THROUGH THIS UNCERTAINTY. CAUSING MY OWN ISSUES AND PUSHING THEM ASIDE. MAKING SELF DESTRUCTION THE MORAL OF MY STORY AND NOT THE METHOD.

I REACH FOR THE STARS CONSTANTLY, BUT EACH TWINKLING FUTURE IS SLOWLY BURNING OUT. A FUTURE THAT WAS NEVER ALIVE TO BEGIN WITH. I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS YOUNG AND I USED TO SIT UP AND STARE AT THE STARS, THAT WAS WHEN I STILL BELIEVED IN GOD AND PEOPLE. THEN I WAS TOLD THAT HALF THE STARS DON'T EVEN EXIST ANYMORE. ITS TAKEN SO MANY YEARS FOR THE LIGHT TO REACH US…NOW I THINK THAT WAS A HALF TRUTH. BUT AT THE TIME IT REALLY SHOCKED ME, THREW ME FROM NAIVETY AND INTO THE COLD HARD ADULT WORLD. I WAS NEVER THAT MOLDABLE, I WORKED OUT FATHER CHRISTMAS AND MAGIC SPOKE ABOUT IN LORE ARE FARCE AT A YOUNG AGE.

IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN A WISH FOR ME TO SLIP INTO THE PAGES OF SOME NOVEL AND LIKE FOREVER IN A DREAM WORLD. I TALK TO MYSELF. I WILL ACT OUT SCENES FROM THE PAST AND CHANGE THEM TO ME SAYING WHAT I WANT. I PLAY OUT WALKING INTO A ROOM, FULL OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE REJECTED ME, LIED AND GENERALLY BEEN VINDICTIVE TO ME.

I SEE THE SCENE IN MY MIND AND THEN SPEAK TO THESE PEOPLE AS IF IT WAS REAL. I EVEN SOMETIMES THINK PEOPLE CAN SEE ME, SOMEWHAT LIKE BB OR THE TRUMAN SHOW. YET MORE MATRIX. I AM PARANOID. I DON'T LIKE CHANGE IN MY ROOM, I NEVER HAVE UNLESS I'M UNDER THE COVERS.

I NEVER INTENDED TO BE LIKE THIS. BUT THEN WHO WOULD DEEM THEMSELVES WITH A HALF LIFE? SYLVIA PLATH INDEED WOULD NOT HAVE ENVISIONED HER END. NOR COBAIN, RIVER OR HENDRIX. THE SUBJECT OF OUR OWN DEMISE IS ALWAYS AN INTERESTING TALE. THE TATTERED THREADS OF LIFES LIVED THROUGH TAINTED LENSES. OH WHAT A TANGLED WEB WE WEAVE.

THE MIRROR USED TO BE MANAGEABLE. BUT IN THE PAST 2 YEARS IT HAS BECOME INCREASINGLY HARD TO LOOK UPON MY OWN IMAGE. TO BEHOLD THE TRUTH OF MYSELF. I WINCE AS IF I HAVE BEEN STRUCK. SHOP WINDOWS, CAR WINDOWS, CAR MIRRORS, SILVER METAL, POOLS OF WATER, GLASSES, ITS ALL A WORLD OF REFLECTION. MOCKING ME AND TEARING ME TO SHREDS WITH THE HARSH REALITY OF MY SITUATION. AND I AM MY BEST ENEMY BUT MY WORST COMPANION.
  • Mood: Distracted
  • Listening to: PLACEBO
  • Reading: WHAT I JUST WROTE
  • Watching: NOTHING
  • Playing: MUSIC
  • Eating: NOTHING
  • Drinking: WATER

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:iconzerogravitydisaster:
zerogravitydisaster Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2010
YOU TALK IN CAPS ALOT! :iconbehappyplz:
Reply
:iconanti-natmister:
anti-natmister Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2010
I SURE DO. I LIKE IT CAUSE ALL THE LETTERS ARE EVEN. PLUS I EVEN WRITE IN CAPS TOO. (:
Reply
:iconzerogravitydisaster:
zerogravitydisaster Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2010
I GUESS YOU ARE RIGHT ABOUT THE LETTERS BEING EVEN. THAT IS PRETTY COOL, HAHA. :iconikilleditplz:
Reply
:icongothicfeverdream:
GothicFeverDream Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2009
thank you so much for the fav :)<3
Reply
:iconrurekk:
Rurekk Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2009
Thanks for the favs. :)
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:iconlizzisaurus:
lizzisaurus Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2009
thankyou so much 4 the :+fav:!!
Reply
:iconanti-natmister:
anti-natmister Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2009
YOU'RE SO WELCOME. <3
Reply
:iconevanescere:
Evanescere Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the :+fav:! :P
Reply
:iconroblfc1892:
roblfc1892 Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2009
:drunk: vaf eht rof xnaht :pointl: :lolly:
Reply
:iconanti-natmister:
anti-natmister Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2009
OH OKAY. DO YOU SPEAK GERMAN?
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